Helllooooooo!

PARENTS

Last time I wrote about how I handled the news of my brother being on the spectrum, possibly telling the other siblings who have special siblings that everything will be okay if they just understand their siblings and try their best to create time for them and appreciate their existence.
So today is for the parents and also siblings though. I’m not a parent but I’m at that age to learn things, to accept them. I can tell that I’m probably going to be an extra and dramatic mother🤷
If you have a parent in your life or a parental figure in your life that actually loves you and does everything to make you happy, you’re so lucky. Trust me that they might not show you love the way you want it, but they do.
I follow this Instagram platform for Autism parents and the way they talk about them is amazing. There are like super heroes.
You can imagine how hard parenting is. How you have to sacrifice your own need for a person. I don’t know how I would handle it but parenthood is something I’m scared of but obviously will have to go through it.
Imagine being a parent to a child of extra needs, No jokes, I would have my own set of meltdowns but still love every part of it.
Being a parent to a child on the spectrum or to a child who has CP, Down syndrome, can be hard. The way they handle the situations, try to keep their faith is amazing. So, I have been to a lot of seminars and seen a lot, heard a lot of stories.
As a parent of Extra needs, it can be overwhelming to continue to care for a child and not see any progress.

 
Everyone has their time to heal, to progress. Why do you think some people “blow” at an old age when they have been trying since day one? God knows best.

 
There are different ways to just live well with your child.
Dealing with other siblings. Most siblings sometimes feel embarrassed or responsible for their autistic sibling or may feel jealous of all the attention he receives. Not me though😂 even if I call my mother out playfully about her favoritism towards my brother, I know that he deserves all the love, care and affection. But Don’t blame me when I taunt her, the minute my brother steps into the house for holiday, my mother goes all out for his lunch and dinner. She would have planned how the Jollof rice would be reeeedddddd in her sleep and once i ask her for my own over-the-top meal, she simply says " you are a woman eh". She's still the best we have lol.
Children with ASD, CP, Down syndrome and more can take more responsibilities other children. Parents should set time aside for the other children, make time for special activities with the affected child and make the siblings work with you. Let them know things that trigger them to the point of a tantrum and how to manage it.
One thing you can also do with your other kids is to encourage them about their brother or sister and also make them to be firm with him, that’s one thing that seems hard for me sometimes. I tell my brother to do something, he laughs at me and does it at the third call, would probably have to bribe him but the minute my older sister calls for something, he is suddenly the serious and hardworking one. 🙄
Encourage them and siblings should also encourage their parents on better years. As a parent, you find out that siblings sometimes feel embarrassed over the affected child’s tantrums or manners, talk to them about better days too and how it would be a memory soon. People tend to be embarrassed by people staring or by unwanted attention during family outings. Teach them that they could fight for their siblings when they are under fire. Something Aggressive-Banke and passive-aggressive-Toyin do frequently.
Find those people who have the same challenges, discuss about it. You’re not alone. This is where seminars are very important. Very happy for the GT bank Autism awareness program they do yearly💞
I see that in the world, we find it very easy to castigate people, very quick to judge. We have this trend of people being in competition over, if you’ll ask me stupid things, who’s a better parent or who gives the child more attention? You should uplift others, suggest things but never castigate them. Tell them what they are doing is okay and things will be better. Apparently not just in parenting, I found out people compete for other things too, football scores, a better social status. *Sigh*
Realize that you’re not perfect that you too need a time off. You’re a freaking superhero. You remember that you can treat yourself too. you mange tantrums, meltdowns, you never give up. Think about special circular activities and let your other children be part of the activities. Just like I’m on –Tobi-burn-some-energy-activity or laptop duty.
Celebrate little things that he does. Make it seem like he found a cure for cancer. LMAO like when tobi gets his math correctly, I'm just too extra that I start dancing around him, giving him high-fives, I'm pretty sure he's like "what's wrong with this one?"
Andddddd
I found out that there’s usually a parent who is not so involved in the child’s life. Perhaps the parent is still finding it hard to adjust or thinks the child isn't who they planned him to be. He/she may just need encouragement and Don’t be guilty for having negative feelings like embarrassments or anger towards them. You’re human.
I know I seem optimistic about everything, I've been told. I'm not doing some things right, I mess up with his diet MOST times, I break down at every tantrum but that's just a moment because I've set my mind that my brother will be better, I work towards it, pray towards it. Nothing can stop my faith.
I strongly believe that every child or adult regardless of their challenges, mental or physical deserves all the care, support and love and also the chance to live out their dreams.
Like Lape always says lol
You’ll be finee💕