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See the person, not the disability



We need to adjust our way of thinking, to end the stigma of disabilities by educating children and adults about the differences individuals have.

Recently, my brother turned 18🎊🎉 the legal age. He couldn't stop smiling that day.

On the way back home from his school, I was in deep thoughts about his future.
18 is a very big age, close to the BIG 2.0
So, everyone bothers about their future. When I was younger, I thought of being an actress, a singer, a dancer, almost everything in the career book. Ideas were just floating in my head.
The thing is that I have no reason to really panick about my future because I know that I have the means of communication to put myself out there to get a job or to get other things on my own. It got me thinking about “If he had the same privileges that we do, maybe it won’t be so hard for them to find a job or even a spouse.
As a sibling or a parent to a special person, you find yourself explaining the child's condition to your friends and other family members. Trying to explain his self-harm, tantrums and diet. Some will understand, some won't.
When I reached a certain age, I began to think about which future ambition would bring in more cash that would take care of myself and my siblings and also I wonder what he will do in the future. What kind of work would be suitable for her? Would he find a job due to his condition? Will he be discriminated because of his looks, mentality? 
As a parent, you bother about the future too "will I always be there?"  Will they get to live their own life?
One of the things that scares me is the fact that my parents will leave us someday or would grow really old to not care for my brother so much as before, thankfully they have my sister and I to step up and take responsibility for what happens in the child’s life. It won't be easy.
This resulted in putting my sibling in everything I aspire to do or be. If I work in a TV station or as a journalist, working extreme late hours, how would he cope also if my sister too is out of the country?
 I believe in faith, but sometimes it is questioned when being realistic.
So, As a parent, if you feel uncertain about the future too, one of the things you can do is to get a trust fund for the child. Although not everyone can do this because of the finance of the family, especially families who don't fully know of their child's condition.
Planning is a lengthy process. Without a plan, your child may suffer so many losses at a time, a parent, finances. I know it’s hard to count on relatives, especially distant ones who would not provide the love and care for your child like you as a close family member will.
In terms of the family help, I think it’s much better to gather the family around and speak about what you can do and can’t do with the child. Imagine being married and taking your affected sibling in, it would be a bed of roses for some time but once you start having children and could even put a strain to your relationship. It solely depends on your partner but there’s enough a person can take.
        Don’t assume that putting money in a trust account will solve so much, continue to work on your child’s independence, don’t make it seem like he has people and will always have people. Despite communication problems, he should be able to do certain things for himself. Challenge him to do things on his own, Although apply safety precautions in doing so.
 You begin to bother if he can handle being alone once you’re gone, if he could get the job he wanted without being discriminated.
If possible, you could even help with future employment.
One thing as a person with no blood ties with a special  person could do is to break the cycle, stop castigating these children and adults for being who they are and try to open more opportunities for them without having the mentality that they won't be good enough.
See the person, not the disability.
Future is uncertain. You can still plan for it.
Most especially enjoy your child while you still can.❤️

Comments

  1. This is a good wake up call and also a call to attention on sensitivity when it comes to unique kids like this. I love what I read👌🏾

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is so good. I like the fact you’re educating people about spacial kids ❤️❤️

    ReplyDelete
  3. See the person, not the disability 👌 That’s deep, keep the good work going my friend ❤️

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is so deep, and amazing, you're amazing toyin,this is really good

    ReplyDelete

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