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Autism Awareness Month felt different this year.

  If I had to sum up last month, it would be about caregiving and how much it honestly scared me. If you didn’t already know, I have a brother with Autism, he’s my world. Last month was Autism Awareness Month. While many posted about awareness or inclusion and called out those who mocked people with disabilities, I was focused on my life and how caregiving was slowly getting into the picture. I thought about the daily commitment, the fears, and the responsibilities of loving and supporting someone with special needs. And for a long time, I found myself terrified.  Cue the horror music. My brother is going to be 25, and while I thank God for his life, it also makes me think about milestones, what he hasn’t done yet, what he’s doing now, and what life could be like in the next few years. A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with my dad, and for the first time, he was vulnerable and opened up,” What happens when I die?” As usual, as the priest in my home, I encouraged him: “ We ...
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EASTER SUNDAY- THE DAY JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND THE DAY I THOUGHT OF SUICIDE

I believe in the opinion that everyone has thought of suicide, and you can argue, but you know deep down, something may have happened to you to make you say, “I’m going to end it all.” But let’s talk about something that happened to me. Now, this article is not to scare you, or to make me seem easily influenced by the other voice. It is to remind you of three things. One, bottling emotions is not good.  Two, the role of caregiving for someone with a disability is not something that is your sole responsibility. Three, the devil is a bastard.  Okay, let's get into it. If you’ve been following my space, you probably know that I have a brother with Autism. As much as it is a beautiful experience, it is very scary. Whenever my brother is coming to the house from school, we ‘ Tobi-proof ’ the house, meaning that we have to hide some things, lock some things up, and it is quite a lot.  See also: Choosing Love as a neurotypical sibling Long story short. I had a meltdown on Sunda...

Mastering Being the best sister to an Autistic Boy

  Unfortunately, you cannot change the life you have been given. I have tried multiple times, but I’ve realized that being a neurotypical sibling is for life.   And this is for you, whether or not you're actively playing the role of a sibling of special needs, this role is for life! Like Thanos said, “You can run from it .” There are highs and lows of having a sibling with a disability. Growing up with a neurodivergent sibling comes with a unique mixture of love, challenges, and deep understanding. And, fortunately, I can say that I’ve mastered it.  Without losing my mind.  Before, I was complaining about my brother’s meltdowns, balancing responsibilities and expectations, and feeling like I needed to be the strong and stable one.  I still cry myself to sleep at night, but it's part of the experience. Nothing in life is completely smooth.  How did I do it? Before mastering this role, I had to overcome inconsistencies and address some thoughts, and m...

Does My Brother Know Jesus?

  I love my brother.  There is a high chance that I will give my life for him. He’s funny, kind, and has this way of making me laugh when I least expect it. Especially when he is doing his little dance while eating Jollof Rice. But there’s one thing that keeps me up at night sometimes; does he know Jesus? Like, really know Him. Growing up, faith was a big part of our home and has become a huge part of mine. Sunday mornings meant church, bedtime meant prayers, and we have devotions in our home, and I bet he knows that I don’t joke with my prayer time. I was 15 when I gave my life to Christ when I realized, “Oh wow, Jesus actually loves me .” But my brother? That’s where things get confusing. You see, my brother has Autism and is verbal, but not per se Non-verbal. He processes things differently. He doesn’t ask deep questions about God or talk about faith the way I do. And that used to scare me. Because salvation is a choice , right? What if he doesn’t understand enough to make...