Okay, I’m going to be straight with you. Having a special-needs person in your family is a blessing, but it is also challenging. I’m not going to sugarcoat it. IT IS A CHALLENGE, but also quite beautiful.
There are moments when your faith would be skyrocketing- you believe that anything is possible- there are also moments when things are going downhill and you wonder if any God is listening- even though that big man has been providing a lot for you.
I started my sibling support group “Your Safe Space” because of one thing and that’s support.
“it takes a village to raise a child with autism”
My parents are lucky that they have me and my wonderful sister to assist in the home and also the upbringing of Tobi. Unfortunately, it’s not like that in other homes. In some homes, siblings run away because of various reasons- depression, lack of care, fear, and rejection.
You cannot blame them. Although, there is always the choice to stay- it’s not always clear to many people. Do not judge. Many people have different strengths.
Someone like me, I reflect on past blessings whenever faced with a problem. I remind you that we live in a world filled with different people- someone may continue to hold on despite challenges hitting them left and right, while some give up when a problem arises.
Different strengths. Don’t judge. Don’t hate.
My sibling support group focuses on providing support in many ways- one is ensuring healthy communication. My brother probably had no idea and my parents probably didn’t know, but he was threatening my peace of mind. I was running mad because one day, I was celebrating, the next minute, I’m trying to stop a fierce meltdown or trying to be a middleman.
I had an amazing friend to talk to them and I wish that on many people- my friend encouraged crying and breaks; no matter how much you love someone or something, a break is needed. Whenever I cried to my best friend, Tobi, she would also say “Come to my house”
It’s not me running away- it’s just me stepping back and prioritizing my mental health before it is non-existent.
Everyone needs one form of support or the other. Our parents may seem as superheroes, but they need all the support they can get. They may not necessarily get it from their friends or society- that’s why YOU need to step in sometimes as a neurotypical sibling and be there.
It would not be easy- your sibling will annoy you, and your parents can pour salt on the wound and try to see how far you can keep your cool. Remember that this would build something in you. You would have certain traits that many don’t possess.
I also need to emphasize something. You are also a priority- when things get too difficult. Take. A. Break. It’s your life. You alone know the kind of thoughts that float around your head. Take a step out of that toxic place, if there is one.
Scream into your pillow, Cry yourself to sleep, Speak in tongues to your Father in heaven, and Pray.
If you need a friend to talk to, I promise you that I will be there. I made up “your safe space” because I know how tough it gets. I’ll be there to remind you that tough times do not last, most especially on your strength and the fact that you can do absolutely anything.
To join Your Safe Space, click on the link in my bio.
Hey, it’s not restricted to people with special needs siblings. If you want to learn more about neurodiversity- Autism, Down syndrome, Cerebral Palsy- it’s a perfect platform for you.
I’m rooting for you.
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