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Reflecting on My years as A Neurotypical Sibling: Happy Birthday Tobi



Imagine having an autistic child and calling it something else for years…. Demonic possession, sickness, illness, madness…

That’s the situation of one of my books’ protagonist.  

One of my books, All for my beautiful odd boy revolves around a young woman’s battle with understanding her autistic son. This fiction work of art is set in a rural setting where many don’t have an idea of Autism. For many years, this young mother attributes her son’s habits to madness or demonic possession. 

This is the case of many children with Autism who are subjected to discrimination because society doesn’t know the true meaning of Autism. Many people may not believe based on the environment they live in, their beliefs and traditions, and their family members. Guess what? This hinders early diagnosis and also further development. 

Tobi clocks 22 this year and I could talk about the moments of pain, battles, and raging thoughts on my part but I’m not. I’m going to talk about how Autism changed me. 

Having a sibling with autism has given me three things to always remember.

The ability of communicating something and people will understand- not many have the privilege. My brother would say a lot of things that many people will not understand. This has given me the ability to go through the extra mile to understand people. This has even led me to take sign language lessons. 

Being a neurotypical sibling has also given me the act of patience. I understand that good things take time. It has given me the strength to hold on no matter what. Good things take time, right?

 Also, I cannot emphasize the faith I have concerning turbulent times- I know everything will be okay- I just have to keep on reminding myself that mountains can be moved and I have a part to play.

Finally, to be grateful. You could say that being a neurotypical sibling brought me closer to God. It’s recognizing the little things my brother does and being grateful for them. God is working and every little thing he does. Imagine a child not knowing how to do something for a very long while and finally getting a hang of it. Isn’t that amazing? 

Don’t get me wrong. It’s frustrating sometimes when I think about Tobi’s absurd habit of cutting clothes or his other habits; this makes me feel like there would always be a battle. Guess what? That’s the thing about life. It comes with so many battles. Without God, I believe you would increase the chances of having problems instead of decreasing them. 

As Tobi turns 22 this year, I wish so many things for him. A wonderful life, a successful career, a partner that would love the heck out of him, and friends who would be kind and push him to do his best. 

I pray more on healing, progress, and the patience to see such progress on my part. 

Most importantly, I pray that I would never be put in a situation where I wouldn’t be able to support, defend or love my little brother. He deserves the world and more.

Happy 22nd, baby Tobi.

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