HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY, TOBI BABY!

There are thousands of battles that come with being a sibling to someone who has autism. Being afraid to invite friends around in case they don’t understand, fussing over being future caregivers, and not understanding why he or she is in pain.

There are so many, my lord!

Today is my brother’s 21st birthday and I recall how little he was before being this big and wonderful man I am so glad to be related to. Yes, I love my brother, but some things upset him when it comes to him. Not everything is easy, but dealing with his challenges helped me, or rather made me grow.

One thing I have learned is that nothing is impossible. There are days that I thought my brother wouldn’t know how to do basic things, but now- I am blown away by his growth, especially when it comes to his speech.

Silence speaks volumes. This, I know. Just because he’s silent, doesn’t mean he can’t speak. I also consider persons with disabilities because I know how tough it can be.

One of the greatest things I have learned is patience. I am blown away by my patience. Because of how things are, I choose to take it easy with Tobi. Not just him, but with my friends, with anyone in general. I give them time and I watch my words.

It’s very important. I have also grown to see every little win. Hearing my brother say the phrase I love you too”, I recall that day. I got so emotional, that I started to cry. He probably thought, “ Who is this one?”

But oh my God, it was so beautiful.

I have also learned to be strong even when I’m weak. Some days annoy me, and that frustrates me, but no matter, what, you keep moving. He has this insane ability to make me smile. Even on days that are so gloomy, he helps me out by doing or saying something silly.

I still don’t know how my brother knows the lyrics to Davido and Ckay’s La, la, la.

But oh well.

Having a brother with autism has helped me to become a better person and I’m proud of who I am.

So, happy birthday Tobiloba. Thank you for all that you do. The cute hugs, the cheek kisses, the sing-alongs, chopping all of your sisters’ money, and mostly, being the best little brother ever.

Comments

The Change

HOW I DEALT WITH THE NEWS. Hiiiiiii. Let me just say my awesome friends pushed me to doing this and I love them❤️ So I have been so fortunate to know the word “Autism and everything it entails. I have a brother of 17 years who is autistic and if you knew me well, you would know I mention Tobi like a million times a day, when referring to anything. He's just in my mind everytime, gosh. Is it weird that I don’t remember my childhood? Maybe, But I think it’s so weird that I don’t understand how it happened, why it keeps happening to children, but I can tell that they are beautiful in every way and when my brother became autistic, was he meant to be this or was cursed? As a Nigerian, you question things like this and search for spiritual help. I never knew of the situation till I was 14. When I was younger, I was ignorant. I didn’t know what was wrong with my brother. I was even too self-absorbed at that age or just busy looking for trouble. I didn’t know why he didn’t speak or w...

SPECIAL NEEDS PARENTS, BREATHE!

Sometimes, you need to say “ Screw it ” and take that break” As special needs parents and caregivers, we are used to being strong and ever-present. The word “ Break ” doesn’t exist in our vocabulary, except when we see intense moments of distress and realize that we need to rest. At the Exhale Conference 6.0, I had the honor of moderating a session on creating a sustainable future for children with special needs and I was reminded of one thing- Now is the time to start planning for the future. Not tomorrow, not next week, but now. But guess what? Your long-term planning for the children won’t be effective if you don't take care of yourself. The future is not just about setting up a trust fund but taking care of ourselves to ensure we can continue this journey with resilience and strength. The Exhale Conference was organized by a powerhouse, Mrs. Bukola Ayinde, a disability advocate and a special needs mother to a child with cerebral palsy. It was the first time meeting Mrs. ...

EASTER SUNDAY- THE DAY JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND THE DAY I THOUGHT OF SUICIDE

I believe in the opinion that everyone has thought of suicide, and you can argue, but you know deep down, something may have happened to you to make you say, “I’m going to end it all.” But let’s talk about something that happened to me. Now, this article is not to scare you, or to make me seem easily influenced by the other voice. It is to remind you of three things. One, bottling emotions is not good. Two, the role of caregiving for someone with a disability is not something that is your sole responsibility. Three, the devil is a bastard. Okay, let's get into it. If you’ve been following my space, you probably know that I have a brother with Autism. As much as it is a beautiful experience, it is very scary. Whenever my brother is coming to the house from school, we ‘ Tobi-proof ’ the house, meaning that we have to hide some things, lock some things up, and it is quite a lot. See also: Choosing Love as a neurotypical sibling Long story short. I had a meltdown on Sunda...

Why Special Education Can Never End

Are you aware that you’re unique? That there is no one else like you. This is not me trying to butter you up. I believe that everyone is unique and in this case, I’m leaning towards the aspect of learning. You know what upsets me? When parents and teachers compare students to one another. You’ve probably heard the words,” Does this child have two heads? Why did he do better? How is he learning this faster than you are?” Dear comparison master, everyone just learns differently. One thing that many people forget is that each person has unique strengths, challenges, and learning styles. My brother has Autism and leans towards learning in Audio-visual form. I’ve realized that people who are not on the spectrum or neurodivergent, also learn differently. This brings me to the important point that a classroom should be able to accommodate people’s learning differences. See: Ten Things to take away from Your Safe Space NG 2024 Let me give you an example. My brot...

Diary of a Beautiful Special Needs Sibling

Search This Blog