HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY, TOBI BABY!

There are thousands of battles that come with being a sibling to someone who has autism. Being afraid to invite friends around in case they don’t understand, fussing over being future caregivers, and not understanding why he or she is in pain.

There are so many, my lord!

Today is my brother’s 21st birthday and I recall how little he was before being this big and wonderful man I am so glad to be related to. Yes, I love my brother, but some things upset him when it comes to him. Not everything is easy, but dealing with his challenges helped me, or rather made me grow.

One thing I have learned is that nothing is impossible. There are days that I thought my brother wouldn’t know how to do basic things, but now- I am blown away by his growth, especially when it comes to his speech.

Silence speaks volumes. This, I know. Just because he’s silent, doesn’t mean he can’t speak. I also consider persons with disabilities because I know how tough it can be.

One of the greatest things I have learned is patience. I am blown away by my patience. Because of how things are, I choose to take it easy with Tobi. Not just him, but with my friends, with anyone in general. I give them time and I watch my words.

It’s very important. I have also grown to see every little win. Hearing my brother say the phrase I love you too”, I recall that day. I got so emotional, that I started to cry. He probably thought, “ Who is this one?”

But oh my God, it was so beautiful.

I have also learned to be strong even when I’m weak. Some days annoy me, and that frustrates me, but no matter, what, you keep moving. He has this insane ability to make me smile. Even on days that are so gloomy, he helps me out by doing or saying something silly.

I still don’t know how my brother knows the lyrics to Davido and Ckay’s La, la, la.

But oh well.

Having a brother with autism has helped me to become a better person and I’m proud of who I am.

So, happy birthday Tobiloba. Thank you for all that you do. The cute hugs, the cheek kisses, the sing-alongs, chopping all of your sisters’ money, and mostly, being the best little brother ever.

Comments

The Change

HOW I DEALT WITH THE NEWS. Hiiiiiii. Let me just say my awesome friends pushed me to doing this and I love them❤️ So I have been so fortunate to know the word “Autism and everything it entails. I have a brother of 17 years who is autistic and if you knew me well, you would know I mention Tobi like a million times a day, when referring to anything. He's just in my mind everytime, gosh. Is it weird that I don’t remember my childhood? Maybe, But I think it’s so weird that I don’t understand how it happened, why it keeps happening to children, but I can tell that they are beautiful in every way and when my brother became autistic, was he meant to be this or was cursed? As a Nigerian, you question things like this and search for spiritual help. I never knew of the situation till I was 14. When I was younger, I was ignorant. I didn’t know what was wrong with my brother. I was even too self-absorbed at that age or just busy looking for trouble. I didn’t know why he didn’t speak or w...

A PERSONAL STORY ON CEREBRAL PALSY: CAN REALLY GOD TAKE AWAY DISABILITIES?

Did I always know better? No. So, I will tell you something that happened in Secondary School ten years ago. There was this girl that had Cerebral Palsy . But I didn’t know that was it. I always thought that she had a curse or possession. Image from Very Well Health site I did not even know about Cerebral Palsy until I got out of high school. I randomly remembered her last year and felt so terrible. This girl was subjected to mockery, ridicule, and so much stress in a boarding school by her teachers, mates, and seniors. I couldn’t even possibly imagine how she felt. She had to make it to class every day without support and learn like others. There was no form of special education in the school. See Last Month's post: Reservations from a love struck neurotypical sibling I cannot blame her parents, even if it’s questioning to let your child come to that kind of environment. They may not have known about her problem. If they weren't aware she was differ...

Helllooooooo!

PARENTS Last time I wrote about how I handled the news of my brother being on the spectrum, possibly telling the other siblings who have special siblings that everything will be okay if they just understand their siblings and try their best to create time for them and appreciate their existence. So today is for the parents and also siblings though. I’m not a parent but I’m at that age to learn things, to accept them. I can tell that I’m probably going to be an extra and dramatic mother🤷 If you have a parent in your life or a parental figure in your life that actually loves you and does everything to make you happy, you’re so lucky. Trust me that they might not show you love the way you want it, but they do. I follow this Instagram platform for Autism parents and the way they talk about them is amazing. There are like super heroes. You can imagine how hard parenting is. How you have to sacrifice your own need for a person. I don’t know how I would handle it but parenthood is someth...

AN INCLUSIVE KIND WORLD

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