HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY, TOBI BABY!

There are thousands of battles that come with being a sibling to someone who has autism. Being afraid to invite friends around in case they don’t understand, fussing over being future caregivers, and not understanding why he or she is in pain.

There are so many, my lord!

Today is my brother’s 21st birthday and I recall how little he was before being this big and wonderful man I am so glad to be related to. Yes, I love my brother, but some things upset him when it comes to him. Not everything is easy, but dealing with his challenges helped me, or rather made me grow.

One thing I have learned is that nothing is impossible. There are days that I thought my brother wouldn’t know how to do basic things, but now- I am blown away by his growth, especially when it comes to his speech.

Silence speaks volumes. This, I know. Just because he’s silent, doesn’t mean he can’t speak. I also consider persons with disabilities because I know how tough it can be.

One of the greatest things I have learned is patience. I am blown away by my patience. Because of how things are, I choose to take it easy with Tobi. Not just him, but with my friends, with anyone in general. I give them time and I watch my words.

It’s very important. I have also grown to see every little win. Hearing my brother say the phrase I love you too”, I recall that day. I got so emotional, that I started to cry. He probably thought, “ Who is this one?”

But oh my God, it was so beautiful.

I have also learned to be strong even when I’m weak. Some days annoy me, and that frustrates me, but no matter, what, you keep moving. He has this insane ability to make me smile. Even on days that are so gloomy, he helps me out by doing or saying something silly.

I still don’t know how my brother knows the lyrics to Davido and Ckay’s La, la, la.

But oh well.

Having a brother with autism has helped me to become a better person and I’m proud of who I am.

So, happy birthday Tobiloba. Thank you for all that you do. The cute hugs, the cheek kisses, the sing-alongs, chopping all of your sisters’ money, and mostly, being the best little brother ever.

Comments

The Change

HOW I DEALT WITH THE NEWS. Hiiiiiii. Let me just say my awesome friends pushed me to doing this and I love them❤️ So I have been so fortunate to know the word “Autism and everything it entails. I have a brother of 17 years who is autistic and if you knew me well, you would know I mention Tobi like a million times a day, when referring to anything. He's just in my mind everytime, gosh. Is it weird that I don’t remember my childhood? Maybe, But I think it’s so weird that I don’t understand how it happened, why it keeps happening to children, but I can tell that they are beautiful in every way and when my brother became autistic, was he meant to be this or was cursed? As a Nigerian, you question things like this and search for spiritual help. I never knew of the situation till I was 14. When I was younger, I was ignorant. I didn’t know what was wrong with my brother. I was even too self-absorbed at that age or just busy looking for trouble. I didn’t know why he didn’t speak or w...

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