Diary of a Beautiful Special Needs Sibling

What It’s Like to Date as a Special Needs Sibling? The truth is, I worry about love. Who doesn’t? You’re choosing someone to build your life with, and what happens if you make a bad choice? It’s not just about my happiness. It’s about my future children, my stability, and, in my case, my little brother. The topic of caregiving has been on my mind since I reached a certain age, making me think more about the future; my career, my health, my responsibilities… everything. Love and relationships are a huge part of that. I’ve never doubted that I have the best friends around me…people who understand my role as a neurotypical sibling. But when it comes to love? That’s where the anxiety creeps in. Not sure if you’ve noticed, but the dating pool is a big mess. I’d describe it as “shege” before finding real love” except if you’re God’s favorite and somehow skip the drama. My situation hasn’t been smooth, and I’d like to think that God is saving me for the one. Unashamedly, I love romance, ...

Are you aware that you’re unique? That there is no one else like you. This is not me trying to butter you up. I believe that everyone is unique and in this case, I’m leaning towards the aspect of learning.  You know what upsets me? When parents and teachers compare students to one another. You’ve probably heard the words,” Does this child have two heads? Why did he do better? How is he learning this faster than you are?” Dear comparison master, everyone just learns differently. One thing that many people forget is that each person has unique strengths, challenges, and learning styles. My brother has Autism and leans towards learning in Audio-visual form. I’ve realized that people who are not on the spectrum or neurodivergent, also learn differently.  This brings me to the important point that a classroom should be able to accommodate people’s learning differences.  See: Ten Things to take away from Your Safe Space NG 2024  Let me give you an example. My brot...

Sometimes, you need to say “ Screw it ” and take that break” As special needs parents and caregivers, we are used to being strong and ever-present. The word “ Break ” doesn’t exist in our vocabulary, except when we see intense moments of distress and realize that we need to rest. At the Exhale Conference 6.0, I had the honor of moderating a session on creating a sustainable future for children with special needs and I was reminded of one thing- Now is the time to start planning for the future.  Not tomorrow, not next week, but now.  But guess what? Your long-term planning for the children won’t be effective if you don't take care of yourself. The future is not just about setting up a trust fund but taking care of ourselves to ensure we can continue this journey with resilience and strength. The Exhale Conference was organized by a powerhouse, Mrs. Bukola Ayinde, a disability advocate and a special needs mother to a child with cerebral palsy. It was the first time meeting Mrs. ...